2014
Monday, April 29, 2013
Update!
Ive been wanting to update, but I had to work all weekend. This is whats happened all weekend... On Friday I spoke with a cardiologist at Devos, he was not encouraging at all! He told me that the heart condition is very serious, but correctable. Niko (The name the orphanage gave to him) does have an ASD, and VSD, which the Dr. isn't as concerned about them as he is with the pulmonary atresia. Pulmonary atresia means that the vessel that normally connects the heart and lungs is completely closed, his body has compensated and made an alternative route, but it isn't sufficient and will eventually fail. This is the bigger issue. Niko will have to have multiple surgeries as he grows to increase the size of the artificial vessel. Niko's oxygen sats have never been higher than 93%, have been as low as 55%, and usually hover 75-80's. That is what concerns me the most. Without adequate oxygen he is at risk for brain damage and poor development. The cardiologist also mentioned that Niko's particular diagnosis has also been linked with some syndromes. The "syndrome" word scares me. I shared all this information with the agency and they were wonderful about following up with the orphanage. The orphanage believes he does not show any other symptoms of the syndrome- after doing research of my own, I agree and am not concerned with the possibility of a syndrome. Im actually very encouraged with his development. He recognizes his name, babbles, and is walking with assistance.
Dan and I talked it over and we pretty much agreed that he needs to have the surgery ASAP, as much as I would like to have it done in the US, we feel that it is in Niko's best interest to get surgery as soon as its available. Even with expedited paperwork, it could be 6 months before he's home. Considering the surgery should have been done months ago, 6 more months is definitely to long. We talked with the agency today, and asked how close he was to having surgery in China. We should have that answered tomorrow. After we figure out how far he is away from surgery we will be able to make a better decision. We know this is only the first surgery of many that he will have to have, we are ok with that.
We also figured out that Niko is in one of Steven Curtis Chapman's orphanages!! That makes me feel like hes getting really good care. :)
A friend of mine put this quote on her FB page yesterday "God is not going to give you a dream in which you don't need His help to accomplish the dream." (I think she got it from Church) It really made me think about this situation. After initially talking with the cardiologist I was very discouraged, It took me awhile to sort out everything he said. I am thankful for his honest advise of the whole picture, but I realize too that its his job to tell me "worst case scenario." The Cardiologist told me that it was his job to make this a tough decision, he said he didn't want to sound to optimistic, or to negative. He wanted to just tell me everything, and let us sort out what we think we can handle. Part of me felt like it would be so easy to let go, and get something much "easier." But then I was reminded that when we signed up for a waiting child, we signed up for the "gray," not "black or white." This decision isn't supposed to be easy, or something we can do on our own. We really do need God's guidance. He's given me the dream, and He's showing me we can't do it alone! And Im glad we don't have too :)
We still haven't made a final decision, we will wait to see what the agency tells us tomorrow. Its been consuming my thoughts, and Ive been praying about it almost constantly. We definitely don't feel pressured by the agency to accept, and we are not afraid of having to wait a long time for another referral (actually that would be a good thing, it would give us more time to raise the money). Its not an emotional decision either. As much as I love looking at his sweet face, I truly want what is best for him. If we feel his needs are to much for a family of 3 kids already we are not afraid to say no. Keep praying for us. If God dealt us this child biologically we would have no problem excepting and dealing with it, it seems a little backwards to have the option to decide "what we can handle." We pray that God gives us some clarity. :)
Don't forget about the garage sale this week- Wed- Friday... My garage is busting at the seams!! It will be a good one. :)
Thursday, April 25, 2013
We talked to our Doctor
This is going to be a quick update. Today we talked to our family Doctor. He has personally adopted children internationally, we really trust his opinion. He told me that he is impressed with the strides that he is making developmentally, and feels that he is physically and cognitively doing very well. He sees no concerns and was actually impressed in the development he made during the 3 months between the 2 reports that we have. I asked if he was concerned that his heart had not been repaired yet, and he said no, he is still young and many times heart conditions are not identified until children are older. He was encouraged that he is not turning blue, and was not concerned with his oxygen sat levels. In regards to his heart condition, Tetralogy of fallot, he said that it is repairable, but suggested that I send the file to the pediatric cardiologist at Devos for his review. The cardiologist would be able to interpret the echo better and tell me how involved the repair would be. Overall we were encouraged, but are going to have the cardiologist review it. :) Thanks for praying for us, we can feel them.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Referral?!?!
This week has been difficult for me, mostly because I feel like Im juggling 10 different hats and doing a horrible job managing it all. We are in the thick of paperwork right now adoption wise (I got to see a copy of our homestudy today), getting ready for the garage sale, working, managing or more like (maintaining) family stuff day to day... its just got me a little down.
I got a sweet text from a friend reminding me how it will all be worth it, probably 30 minutes later we got a phone call from our agency. We almost didn't answer the phone because we thought it was family and we were getting ready for dinner. When we realized it was them they were gone, and we tried to call back, but didn't know the extension of the person who was calling. Then my cell phone rang, I assumed they were just calling to address the email I sent earlier in the day.... She then proceeded to tell us about a possible REFERRAL!!!! Pretty much picture- perfect of what I imagined in my heart before we started the process. Its a BOY, Birthday 3/31/12, with heart disease. :) He is a "special focus" child, which means we can get matched before our paperwork is submitted. Which means it will go much quicker... little crazy considering we don't have all our money yet (and aren't even close). With all that being said, because he has a medical condition we need to have the profile reviewed by some doctors to make sure it is something we feel like our family can handle. It seems a little surreal, and reality hasn't sunk in yet. I expected this in August, not mid-april! God has some special little way of encouraging me, seeing those pictures are such good motivation.
We will keep you all update, and share pictures as soon as we are able. I can tell you one thing, he's adorable! :)
Pray that we make the best decision, its hard to say no to a sweet face that you want so bad, it will feel so good to be able to call him ours though!
here is my favorite "adoption" song. Enjoy :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIwNZilpTXU
I got a sweet text from a friend reminding me how it will all be worth it, probably 30 minutes later we got a phone call from our agency. We almost didn't answer the phone because we thought it was family and we were getting ready for dinner. When we realized it was them they were gone, and we tried to call back, but didn't know the extension of the person who was calling. Then my cell phone rang, I assumed they were just calling to address the email I sent earlier in the day.... She then proceeded to tell us about a possible REFERRAL!!!! Pretty much picture- perfect of what I imagined in my heart before we started the process. Its a BOY, Birthday 3/31/12, with heart disease. :) He is a "special focus" child, which means we can get matched before our paperwork is submitted. Which means it will go much quicker... little crazy considering we don't have all our money yet (and aren't even close). With all that being said, because he has a medical condition we need to have the profile reviewed by some doctors to make sure it is something we feel like our family can handle. It seems a little surreal, and reality hasn't sunk in yet. I expected this in August, not mid-april! God has some special little way of encouraging me, seeing those pictures are such good motivation.
We will keep you all update, and share pictures as soon as we are able. I can tell you one thing, he's adorable! :)
Pray that we make the best decision, its hard to say no to a sweet face that you want so bad, it will feel so good to be able to call him ours though!
here is my favorite "adoption" song. Enjoy :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIwNZilpTXU
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Off to Chicago Again...
So I got the papers back from Chicago early last week. I took them to the notary (for the 3rd time), feeling so silly I had to request yet another "something" on the document. They were both super sweet about it. I feel a little uneasy about sending them again. Im not sure what we could possibly add to them, but I feel like they may not like the exact wording used. Dan and I talked about it before we sent them- we had two options.... Start all over (reprint, notarized, send to Secretary of State, copy, then to Chicago), or Try again and send back to Chicago. It costs $25 to send the documents. We decided that the $25 risk seemed a whole lot less overwhelming then starting over. This isn't delaying us at all because our homestudy is not complete yet and needs to go through the whole process too. Im really praying they will like the documents and authenticate them. :)
I have been really overwhelmed lately getting ready for the garage sale. So many people have been SO generous, and we are really feeling blessed. I know the sale will be wonderful. Its taken a lot of my time and I think my kids are sensing my lack of emotional presence. Im not sure if its the weather, or me being so consumed by adoption related "stuff," but the kids have not been listening to us well at all. I feel like we are a crazy circus everywhere we go, for example....
Friday was a busy day, I woke up late (which actually felt AWESOME to sleep in) to the kids helping themselves to food, TV on, and PJ's still.... already at this point we missed the bus. I decided I was just going to take my time picking up, getting the kids ready, and taking a shower. We had an errand to run, then we stopped by Dans work to pick up the documents he copied (so I could send them to the embassy), took Avi to school, then had to stop at the bank to fix the money order. This is all while the weather is cold and rainy. By the time we get to the bank Asher and Azalia had been in the car awhile. We get to the counter, they of course request candy, it takes a few minutes for the lady to take care of what I need. Meanwhile, the kids are running around giggling, laughing, being super silly, refusing to listen to "stand by mom." So embarrassing! Next stop post office. We talk in the car about staying by mom, and not running around- I get "yea, ok, yea, yea..." We get to the post office, I park the car, and turn around only to find the kids had thrown toys all over the floor of the van. My OCD comes out, and I say we have to find all the pieces before we go inside (It was more like mom finding all the pieces). We got most of them, the few left were under the seat so I got the kids out and told them to wait on the sidewalk so I could look under the seats. I turn around to find them again- laughing, giggling, and running up and down the handicap ramp at the post office. I was about to loose it! I round them up, and explain once again why its important to stay by mom..."yea, ok, yea yea yea..." Inside they were ok- considering it took me awhile to put all the papers together and label the envelopes. The thought did go through my mind many times- "are you sure you want one more??" Then I kept thinking about how silly I must have looked at all those places with out- of- control kids, and them knowing I was mailing papers to get ONE MORE!
I know life will not get any less crazier with one more, but it will be more blessed. God doesn't call us to do the things that are easy- thats what I have to keep telling myself. Even though my munchkins can be very silly and crazy, they are so precious and without them I wouldn't know what to do. I suppose our life is about to get a little more crazy blessed. :)
I found some encouragement in 2 Corinthians
I have been really overwhelmed lately getting ready for the garage sale. So many people have been SO generous, and we are really feeling blessed. I know the sale will be wonderful. Its taken a lot of my time and I think my kids are sensing my lack of emotional presence. Im not sure if its the weather, or me being so consumed by adoption related "stuff," but the kids have not been listening to us well at all. I feel like we are a crazy circus everywhere we go, for example....
Friday was a busy day, I woke up late (which actually felt AWESOME to sleep in) to the kids helping themselves to food, TV on, and PJ's still.... already at this point we missed the bus. I decided I was just going to take my time picking up, getting the kids ready, and taking a shower. We had an errand to run, then we stopped by Dans work to pick up the documents he copied (so I could send them to the embassy), took Avi to school, then had to stop at the bank to fix the money order. This is all while the weather is cold and rainy. By the time we get to the bank Asher and Azalia had been in the car awhile. We get to the counter, they of course request candy, it takes a few minutes for the lady to take care of what I need. Meanwhile, the kids are running around giggling, laughing, being super silly, refusing to listen to "stand by mom." So embarrassing! Next stop post office. We talk in the car about staying by mom, and not running around- I get "yea, ok, yea, yea..." We get to the post office, I park the car, and turn around only to find the kids had thrown toys all over the floor of the van. My OCD comes out, and I say we have to find all the pieces before we go inside (It was more like mom finding all the pieces). We got most of them, the few left were under the seat so I got the kids out and told them to wait on the sidewalk so I could look under the seats. I turn around to find them again- laughing, giggling, and running up and down the handicap ramp at the post office. I was about to loose it! I round them up, and explain once again why its important to stay by mom..."yea, ok, yea yea yea..." Inside they were ok- considering it took me awhile to put all the papers together and label the envelopes. The thought did go through my mind many times- "are you sure you want one more??" Then I kept thinking about how silly I must have looked at all those places with out- of- control kids, and them knowing I was mailing papers to get ONE MORE!
I know life will not get any less crazier with one more, but it will be more blessed. God doesn't call us to do the things that are easy- thats what I have to keep telling myself. Even though my munchkins can be very silly and crazy, they are so precious and without them I wouldn't know what to do. I suppose our life is about to get a little more crazy blessed. :)
I found some encouragement in 2 Corinthians
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Thats all for tonight, its pricing and organizing for me :)
Don't forget to mark your calendars for the garage sale Starting Wednesday May 1, 6:30pm- Friday afternoon.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
This paperwork is gonna make me crazy yet!! ....
So today, I got a call from the Embassy in Chicago (crazy they got our paperwork so fast, and already reviewed it!) They wanted to let me know that the notary only signed, stamped, and dated the paper... leaving out the sentence about it being a "true and original document" UGH! The state told me the notary forgot to date (which they had to mail the papers back, I had to get a date then remail), this time they forgot the sentence.... Well I guess its back to visit the notary for me!! We will get it right yet. Im sure glad that we are finding out all these little glitches now while we are waiting for our homestudy to be written. So really it isn't holding us up, just costing us a lot of time, money (shipping costs doubled now!), and headaches running around!! We will get it right yet. :)
So today, I got a call from the Embassy in Chicago (crazy they got our paperwork so fast, and already reviewed it!) They wanted to let me know that the notary only signed, stamped, and dated the paper... leaving out the sentence about it being a "true and original document" UGH! The state told me the notary forgot to date (which they had to mail the papers back, I had to get a date then remail), this time they forgot the sentence.... Well I guess its back to visit the notary for me!! We will get it right yet. Im sure glad that we are finding out all these little glitches now while we are waiting for our homestudy to be written. So really it isn't holding us up, just costing us a lot of time, money (shipping costs doubled now!), and headaches running around!! We will get it right yet. :)
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
God is GOOD...and we have some AWESOME friends!!!
I am so overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends!! Numerous times in the last 48 hrs I have been just awed by how loving, generous, and supportive our friends are. Yesterday I met with 2 people from our church who are more than compassionate about adoption. They gave me AWESOME ideas for our garage sale, and offered to HELP. A huge burden was lifted. The help is great, and very much appreciated but the support is priceless. It feels so good knowing that we are gaining this team of supporters cheering us on in this journey. Our baby has no idea how lucky he/she is to have all these people loving on them already!! So that was yesterday, well today... First, I got an email from our agency saying that some friends of ours gave a very generous donation towards our next fees. (talk about jaw dropping, tears flowing..) Then, I got an email from another family saying they had some stuff to donate to our garage sale. John helped Dan pick it up, and he was so impressed. We were all overwhelmed by their generosity!! When I thanked her she told me... "When the kids heard they could support you... really motivated them to get rid of things they might not really use." We are so grateful!! Our playroom/den is starting to get really cluttered, typically it would be killin' me, but right now I LOVE watching that pile grow. It only means we are closer to our goal. We still have a long way to go but little by little we will get there, God has His hand in this, this time!
It is very humbling for me to accept all these things. I don't like asking for things, especially in such quantity. Its helping me realize that I can't do it on my own- even if I worked tons of extra hrs, or pinched every penny- coming up with $25,000 in 6 months would be impossible. I'm learning a lesson in relying on God, which isn't easy for a person who likes to be independent. An impression is being made on our kids too. Its hard to know how much they really understand, but they know its all to help bring home their brother/sister in China. And John too... He came here not a believer, and got fully submersed into the Christian lifestyle-at school, home, church, etc. He still is not a believer, but many seeds have been planted. He doesn't understand the crazy love I have for orphans, or why you would all be so supportive in us having 4 kids!! Thats like a zoo (in China). He does feel the love, and right now thats good enough for me. :)
Yesterday I asked a friend to watch Azalia for me because I thought I had "muffins with mom," with Asher, only to find out I had the wrong MONTH! Pretty much the story of my life lately.... So then I offered to pick Azalia back up, which she insisted I enjoy sometime to myself. (Something Im not easily convinced to do) So I took advantage of the time and drove to the bank to get the money order I needed to mail our documents to Chicago. Got up to the counter, pulled out all the papers, and... no wallet!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SO I had to drive all the way home to get it, by that time I didn't have enough time to go back to the bank before my next apt.- so I enjoyed my peace, ate my typical breakfast of oreos :), and read facebook. A friend of mine posted this link...
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/08/10-ways-to-be-a-happier-mom/
It was really what I needed, and a good reminder for the whirlwind of crazy that I have going on right now. :)
I am so overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends!! Numerous times in the last 48 hrs I have been just awed by how loving, generous, and supportive our friends are. Yesterday I met with 2 people from our church who are more than compassionate about adoption. They gave me AWESOME ideas for our garage sale, and offered to HELP. A huge burden was lifted. The help is great, and very much appreciated but the support is priceless. It feels so good knowing that we are gaining this team of supporters cheering us on in this journey. Our baby has no idea how lucky he/she is to have all these people loving on them already!! So that was yesterday, well today... First, I got an email from our agency saying that some friends of ours gave a very generous donation towards our next fees. (talk about jaw dropping, tears flowing..) Then, I got an email from another family saying they had some stuff to donate to our garage sale. John helped Dan pick it up, and he was so impressed. We were all overwhelmed by their generosity!! When I thanked her she told me... "When the kids heard they could support you... really motivated them to get rid of things they might not really use." We are so grateful!! Our playroom/den is starting to get really cluttered, typically it would be killin' me, but right now I LOVE watching that pile grow. It only means we are closer to our goal. We still have a long way to go but little by little we will get there, God has His hand in this, this time!
It is very humbling for me to accept all these things. I don't like asking for things, especially in such quantity. Its helping me realize that I can't do it on my own- even if I worked tons of extra hrs, or pinched every penny- coming up with $25,000 in 6 months would be impossible. I'm learning a lesson in relying on God, which isn't easy for a person who likes to be independent. An impression is being made on our kids too. Its hard to know how much they really understand, but they know its all to help bring home their brother/sister in China. And John too... He came here not a believer, and got fully submersed into the Christian lifestyle-at school, home, church, etc. He still is not a believer, but many seeds have been planted. He doesn't understand the crazy love I have for orphans, or why you would all be so supportive in us having 4 kids!! Thats like a zoo (in China). He does feel the love, and right now thats good enough for me. :)
Yesterday I asked a friend to watch Azalia for me because I thought I had "muffins with mom," with Asher, only to find out I had the wrong MONTH! Pretty much the story of my life lately.... So then I offered to pick Azalia back up, which she insisted I enjoy sometime to myself. (Something Im not easily convinced to do) So I took advantage of the time and drove to the bank to get the money order I needed to mail our documents to Chicago. Got up to the counter, pulled out all the papers, and... no wallet!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SO I had to drive all the way home to get it, by that time I didn't have enough time to go back to the bank before my next apt.- so I enjoyed my peace, ate my typical breakfast of oreos :), and read facebook. A friend of mine posted this link...
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/08/10-ways-to-be-a-happier-mom/
It was really what I needed, and a good reminder for the whirlwind of crazy that I have going on right now. :)
Monday, April 8, 2013
Here today, Gone tomorrow....
We got the rest of our documents back from the Secretary of State today!! About a month ago, I submitted 10 documents for certification, 2 weeks later I got them back with 6 left uncertified. Apparently the notary didn't date them, so I had to run around get the notary to date them and then mail them back! Today they came in the mail, and they are all certified!!! I was so excited to see them, I was hugging the package. The kids were wondering what was so cool about the papers. :) I had to explain to them it was one step closer to China. They nodded and smiled.
Tomorrow I will get a money order, make copies, and go to the post office... they will be on their way to the Chinese Embassy in Chicago for Authentication. Those are some expensive pieces of paper!!
I will try to update as often as something exciting happens. Feel free to share our blog with others, I know God is up to something.
Blessings
Jen
We got the rest of our documents back from the Secretary of State today!! About a month ago, I submitted 10 documents for certification, 2 weeks later I got them back with 6 left uncertified. Apparently the notary didn't date them, so I had to run around get the notary to date them and then mail them back! Today they came in the mail, and they are all certified!!! I was so excited to see them, I was hugging the package. The kids were wondering what was so cool about the papers. :) I had to explain to them it was one step closer to China. They nodded and smiled.
Tomorrow I will get a money order, make copies, and go to the post office... they will be on their way to the Chinese Embassy in Chicago for Authentication. Those are some expensive pieces of paper!!
I will try to update as often as something exciting happens. Feel free to share our blog with others, I know God is up to something.
Blessings
Jen
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Im new at this...
I have had mixed feelings about writing a blog for lots of reasons- first I am NO writer, my grammar is not the best (so please don't expect much) :). Second, Im a little nervous about how many thousands of people will read about our lives. And third, I don't want this to become the only avenue people use to stay updated on our journey. We know that we will need LOTS of prayer, and lots of encouragement. Adoption is a very emotional process. And we want to talk to you!!
Adoption has been a weighted burden placed on my heart since I was young. I remember trying to convince my parents to be a foster family as a young girl. (They thought I was crazy, they probably still think that :)). In college I worked as an intake coordinator for Bethany and talked with families inquiring about adoption. I spend many hours reading different country requirements, fees, and also adoption stories. For whatever reason, I was REALLY drawn to China. Dan and I have talked about adoption for a long time and always agreed it would be something we would pursue someday. About 3 years ago we began inquiring about the process. We knew we didn't meet the age requirements for China, and we had also been told we most likely would not qualify because of my scoliosis. So we compromised with Korea (since we met the requirements there, and it seemed like the closest thing to China). I went into the adoption process very clearly wanting a girl. I really wanted Aviela to have a sister (especially since I never had one). The social worker told us that Korea would not let us specify gender and that we had to be open to either genders. So I reluctantly agreed, but really believed God would give us a girl. We finished our homestudy, lots of paperwork, fingerprints, 6 months of waiting, and then our REFERRAL. It was a boy! I was not shocked because while we were waiting I had talked with another social worker with our agency who told me how the referrals were getting matched. I got used to the idea, the kids were excited, and it seemed normal. So we accepted, paid the remaining fees, and started getting ready for our new little boy. About one month after we got the referral, we found out that I was pregnant. We didn't know what to do, but we did know we signed a document that said we would notify our agency with changes to our family. We decided to tell them, knowing that we might possibly lose the referral. They had many meetings, and waffled back and forth for a few weeks until they decided to pull our referral. This precious little boy who we named, began planning for, were emotionally attached to-quickly became not ours. It was horrible! We were all heartbroken. I struggled a lot with the pregnancy in the beginning. It didn't seem right, or possible, WHY? What it came down to, was that I was being selfish. God gave me another biological child (something some families struggle to experience), but somehow that tangible asian face seemed more real. Dan knew right away we were having a girl. He told me one night when I was so upset, that he thought God was going to give us the girl my heart desired. At 20 weeks we found out it was a girl!!! God really does know the desires of your heart. Even amidst the tears and pain, He had a bigger, perfect plan! I was the one who had a hard time letting go. Azalia Kate was born July 5, 2011. Her name means "reserved by God." I really believe God gave her to us at just the perfect time!
We enjoyed the first year of her life, but then began talking again about the "adoption thing." It was still a huge burden, but I was scared to be so emotionally, and financially vulnerable again. So we checked out foster care, and just when we thought we were almost licensed- God shut that door. Foster care seemed so easy- we had lots of freedom to "pick" the children we would foster, made adoption cheaper, and we had no obligations. Still in love with China, I reread the requirements. I felt like Scoliosis was a gray area so I emailed three agencies. To my surprise they all responded with very positive comments. I was encouraged. Dan and I talked it over and decided to check it out.
In January we submitted our formal application to CCAI (Chinese Children Adoption International), we were approved. CCAI believes that with a letter from a doctor my Scoliosis will not be a problem. YAY!! Since the approval of our formal application we have been working on our dossier documents (which is quite a process), and we finished all our homestudy meetings. Right now our social worker is finishing up writing our homestudy. I can't wait to have that document in our hands!! We gathered all our dossier documents, got them notarized, now they are at the secretary of state to get certified, from there they go to the Chinese embassy in Chicago to get authenticated, and from there to our agency to get reviewed and translated... then to China. I think that we could have all of our paperwork to China by the end of the summer/ early fall. After that happens we get a "Log in Date" or LID, with a LID we will have lots more flexibility on picking a child. Its just amazing how God changes your heart, last time I clearly preferred a girl, this time a male. :) We have chosen the "waiting child," program and will get to pick a child with minor/ correctable needs.
During the adoption process the last time I felt very impatient and would get frustrated with the "hang ups", but this time I feel more relaxed. I am trying to enjoy the "waiting" time. This time the "hang ups" just give us more time to save money. I have been trying to sell "stuff." It feels really good to get rid of old toys. I had a really hard time pulling out the bins and bins of the kids clothes to sell though. Since we will not get an infant, there is plenty we will not need. I realized that I was very emotionally attached to their clothes. They are tangible memories. :) I had to tell myself that the memories are in my heart and head and the precious asian face will be worth more then any piece of cloth. I have also been working a ton of extra hours this week alone I worked 36 extra hrs (on top of my normal shifts). Its been fun to be at work, but the balance has been stressful. The last couple days I started to notice the kids were missing my presence. When Im home most of the time, the chaos of 3 kids seems manageable, managing my schedule, their schedules, and house work has been overwhelming to me lately. I know its temporary and it will all be worth it, and that keeps me positive.
Keep us in your prayers. Prayers that things go smoothly, for finances, and that we will be able to manage being the parents we want to be with everything we are juggling.
Blessings
Jen
Adoption has been a weighted burden placed on my heart since I was young. I remember trying to convince my parents to be a foster family as a young girl. (They thought I was crazy, they probably still think that :)). In college I worked as an intake coordinator for Bethany and talked with families inquiring about adoption. I spend many hours reading different country requirements, fees, and also adoption stories. For whatever reason, I was REALLY drawn to China. Dan and I have talked about adoption for a long time and always agreed it would be something we would pursue someday. About 3 years ago we began inquiring about the process. We knew we didn't meet the age requirements for China, and we had also been told we most likely would not qualify because of my scoliosis. So we compromised with Korea (since we met the requirements there, and it seemed like the closest thing to China). I went into the adoption process very clearly wanting a girl. I really wanted Aviela to have a sister (especially since I never had one). The social worker told us that Korea would not let us specify gender and that we had to be open to either genders. So I reluctantly agreed, but really believed God would give us a girl. We finished our homestudy, lots of paperwork, fingerprints, 6 months of waiting, and then our REFERRAL. It was a boy! I was not shocked because while we were waiting I had talked with another social worker with our agency who told me how the referrals were getting matched. I got used to the idea, the kids were excited, and it seemed normal. So we accepted, paid the remaining fees, and started getting ready for our new little boy. About one month after we got the referral, we found out that I was pregnant. We didn't know what to do, but we did know we signed a document that said we would notify our agency with changes to our family. We decided to tell them, knowing that we might possibly lose the referral. They had many meetings, and waffled back and forth for a few weeks until they decided to pull our referral. This precious little boy who we named, began planning for, were emotionally attached to-quickly became not ours. It was horrible! We were all heartbroken. I struggled a lot with the pregnancy in the beginning. It didn't seem right, or possible, WHY? What it came down to, was that I was being selfish. God gave me another biological child (something some families struggle to experience), but somehow that tangible asian face seemed more real. Dan knew right away we were having a girl. He told me one night when I was so upset, that he thought God was going to give us the girl my heart desired. At 20 weeks we found out it was a girl!!! God really does know the desires of your heart. Even amidst the tears and pain, He had a bigger, perfect plan! I was the one who had a hard time letting go. Azalia Kate was born July 5, 2011. Her name means "reserved by God." I really believe God gave her to us at just the perfect time!
We enjoyed the first year of her life, but then began talking again about the "adoption thing." It was still a huge burden, but I was scared to be so emotionally, and financially vulnerable again. So we checked out foster care, and just when we thought we were almost licensed- God shut that door. Foster care seemed so easy- we had lots of freedom to "pick" the children we would foster, made adoption cheaper, and we had no obligations. Still in love with China, I reread the requirements. I felt like Scoliosis was a gray area so I emailed three agencies. To my surprise they all responded with very positive comments. I was encouraged. Dan and I talked it over and decided to check it out.
In January we submitted our formal application to CCAI (Chinese Children Adoption International), we were approved. CCAI believes that with a letter from a doctor my Scoliosis will not be a problem. YAY!! Since the approval of our formal application we have been working on our dossier documents (which is quite a process), and we finished all our homestudy meetings. Right now our social worker is finishing up writing our homestudy. I can't wait to have that document in our hands!! We gathered all our dossier documents, got them notarized, now they are at the secretary of state to get certified, from there they go to the Chinese embassy in Chicago to get authenticated, and from there to our agency to get reviewed and translated... then to China. I think that we could have all of our paperwork to China by the end of the summer/ early fall. After that happens we get a "Log in Date" or LID, with a LID we will have lots more flexibility on picking a child. Its just amazing how God changes your heart, last time I clearly preferred a girl, this time a male. :) We have chosen the "waiting child," program and will get to pick a child with minor/ correctable needs.
During the adoption process the last time I felt very impatient and would get frustrated with the "hang ups", but this time I feel more relaxed. I am trying to enjoy the "waiting" time. This time the "hang ups" just give us more time to save money. I have been trying to sell "stuff." It feels really good to get rid of old toys. I had a really hard time pulling out the bins and bins of the kids clothes to sell though. Since we will not get an infant, there is plenty we will not need. I realized that I was very emotionally attached to their clothes. They are tangible memories. :) I had to tell myself that the memories are in my heart and head and the precious asian face will be worth more then any piece of cloth. I have also been working a ton of extra hours this week alone I worked 36 extra hrs (on top of my normal shifts). Its been fun to be at work, but the balance has been stressful. The last couple days I started to notice the kids were missing my presence. When Im home most of the time, the chaos of 3 kids seems manageable, managing my schedule, their schedules, and house work has been overwhelming to me lately. I know its temporary and it will all be worth it, and that keeps me positive.
Keep us in your prayers. Prayers that things go smoothly, for finances, and that we will be able to manage being the parents we want to be with everything we are juggling.
Blessings
Jen
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