Summer is almost over...

Its been quite a fun summer, I just can't believe its over! Since the adoption updates are few and far between, I decided to update on what we are doing to pass the time. The kids are definitely ready to go back to school, and have a little structure. :) June started out pretty slow, and then the last week of June we welcomed Beatriz into our home for 6 weeks, she was an exchange student from Spain. The kids absolutely adored her, and Im pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

Also in June some special friends came to visit! We really enjoyed the week with the Epemas, It seemed as though they hadn't been gone for a year. All of us enjoyed the precious time we got to spend together, the kids seemed to pick up right where they left off, which made me smile!! XOXO 

In July, we celebrated Aviela and Addys birthdays. Aviela was 7, June 20, and Addy turned 2, July 5. We had a simple party at our house with a special cake and a few friends. 

Our family vacation this year was spending a couple nights at the Double JJ Ranch. The kids loved the waterpark, and the horses. Beatriz was able to go on 3 horse back rides, the kids on pony rides, visited their petting farm, and spent time together. We enjoyed being together as a family. The rest of July, we visited with friends, and did random things around Grand Rapids. We kept very busy. August snuck up on us really fast. Beatriz flew home August 7. It was a sad day, especially for the kids! I practically had to pull Addy out of her arms, she was convinced she was going to sit on Beatriz's lap on the plane. :( We had a short 10 days together before Johnny came back from China, August 17. The kids were of course overjoyed to see him, and really haven't stopped touching him since. He showered all of us with many authentic gifts from China, we feel loved by him and his family. It really feels really nice to have Johnny home for his 2nd and last year. :( Its almost bittersweet for me because I know this is only the beginning of the end, he will spend the next 10 months with us, and then fly home for the summer, and come back to the US in August for college. He will most likely not go to college near Grand Rapids.  Im just trying to savor every minute of this time because it will be over in a blink of an eye. Its really exciting living through his senior year with him- pictures, prom, colleges, etc. Its probably not our responsibility as host parents to get his pictures taken, and visit colleges, but Im really looking forward to enjoying this year with him and making it special. 

 The kids waiting for John to get off the plane. So excited!!

John Enjoying having sisters!! At the mall

Also in August Dan started coaching Ashers flag football team. They are the Denver Broncos!! It can sometimes be challenging for Dan, but overall he enjoys it. Its super adorable watching them run around the field. Asher REALLY enjoys it!

Asher in Action!!

I worked quite a bit a couple weeks ago at work. It was very stressful, and although the check was nice, Im reminded how grateful I am to be able to spend most of my time enjoying the precious time I have with the kids. Its definitely not always easy, and sometimes not fun, but I wouldn't have it any other way!! 

Today is back to school for Avi. She is a first grader in Spanish Immersion with Senora Dalman. Having our children in the public school was hard for me last year, to let go, and let them out of the bubble I wish they could live in forever. :) It even felt weird for Avi, I remember her asking one night, "so we won't PRAY at school?" AFter I swallowed the lump in my throat I said, "no." Avi's teacher last year was a missionary kid for part of her childhood, and her teacher this year was a missionary for part of her adult life. Even though its a public school, I know her teacher shares similar values- which is comforting for me. Avi is doing very well, and has transitioned well. Last year, Avi was in class with one of her best friends, Kaylee. This year they are in different classes. It will be good for her, but my prayer is that she feels comfortable socially without Kaylee, and begins to develop more close friendships. 

 Avi and Kaylee

By her locker

So we have had a busy summer! Dan and I had sometime to reflect on the adoption, and really felt like we needed an update. We asked the agency for an update and they told us they usually only give updates every 90 days but they would try for one. We wanted to know his oxygen sats, developmental milestones and place in line for surgery. We got a brief update saying he was one of three being considered for surgery- they take 1 child for surgery at a time, we don't know how often they take more children, and its totally up to the doctor to pick which of the 3 goes.... so this news didn't mean a ton. We were told his o2 levels were low 70's... which is bad, but not significantly worse then his trend. With the low o2 sats we are very concerned about brain development, thus why we were concerned about developmental milestones. All they said about his development was he is doing "well." Dan and I talked about it a lot, and prayed a ton, and just didn't feel super comfortable with the update. We live a busy life with 3 (4) active kids. We talked with the agency about options, could we change our minds now?, what did that mean for our status if we did?, could we get matched again?, what about his needs?, etc. The agency assured us that if we didn't feel that we were the perfect family for him any more, we could change our minds. They told us that they would find a family for him, and that we would not be "black listed" by them or China, and we could continue to wait for another match. So towards the end of July we did decide that we were not perfect for him. Its been extremely hard to tell our closest friends, and write on this blog. I am part of a FB China adoption group, I shared with them our situation, and they offered a ton of support. We still very much want to adopt from China, in fact, our paperwork was sent to China August 1, 2013, and Logged into their system August 8, 2013. Which means we are LID have a (log in date). Because we are to this point in our adoption process, we will be able to be matched with a child with much less significant needs. I have asked the agency about wait times, and they vary from 2 months to 1 year or more. I know it will happen in Gods timing, and really, honestly, I feel more content then I ever had about the wait.... 

Here is a little video of Addy celebrating the huge LID milestone in the adoption process!! :)

So many emotions

Disclaimer... I told you already Im horrible at english, but I just got home from work and didn't proofread this post...please don't judge :)

I have had a lot of people ask me lately "how is the adoption going?" Im sorry I haven't been updating more regularly, honestly, June was a tough month and I wanted to deal with everything before I updated.

I feel like I can't do any of the paperwork right the first time, and everything takes 4x longer than it should. Granted, most, if not all of the stuff was out of my control, but I took it really personally.
I started feeling angry. Angry -that all of these children (not just Nolan), are sitting waiting in orphanages for their mommys and daddys and the Government, and paperwork stand in the way of them finding their families. If I wasn't such a determined person, it would have been so easy to give up many times. These kids need families, yet the government is concerned about silly details which delay the paperwork by 2 weeks! I understand its a fine line to walk because it is important to place the children with loving parents, I get that. So many more children would have families if the requirements were less strict, if the paperwork didn't sit on someones desk for weeks, if it didn't have to touch so many different hands (increasing the cost), etc. It just isn't fair!! and It made me angry.

Then I was feeling sad. Sad that our baby is laying somewhere, in some sterile bed, sick, in desperate need of health care, and I couldn't be there to tell him it would be ok. It makes me sad thinking he has nothing that is his, no parent to kiss him goodnight, no voice, nothing! It made me want to go visit. I knew the paperwork was taking longer so I asked about doing an extra visit... only to find out he is in some "building" that visitors are not allowed. Comforting! Kinda sounds like prison.

That made me worried. Since we only get updates every 90 days, I began getting worried about his health. Was he really doing ok? Is he sicker than we think? When can he have surgery?

Anyone who knows me knows that I do not enjoy being pregnant, but I have said numerous times "I would rather be pregnant." This is by far one of the hardest things I have endured.

I feel like we are racing the clock to get him home, and we have NO one on our side, in fact we have a ton of blockers standing in our way telling us, "I can't do that" or "redo this paper" or "before I can do that, you need to do these other 10 steps" or "a request for that letter needs to come from your agency" AHHHH.... Im really feeling worn out.

1. Our homestudy got flagged by immigration because of the wording regarding John (our exchange student) Which meant numerous emails to various people, time on the phone with CCAI (our placement agency), communication with DA blodget (our homestudy agency), emails to John in China, etc. two sentences that made Nolan wait 2-3 weeks extra. Silly!

2. Then our agency wanted a letter from a local doctor stating the severity of his condition. I waited 2 weeks and heard nothing from the specialist, so I tried our pediatrician. He said no, something about his license, and writing a letter to the chinese government... whatever! So I tried DeVos cardiology again... they said they have never done such a thing, and didn't feel comfortable.... I begged and pleaded, and they said MAYBE but your agency has to place the request. So that meant more time on the phone calling CCAI, telling them what the drs said, etc. CCAI agreed to call DeVos, which DeVos did end up agreeing to do it but needed Nolans file again. OF COURSE CCAI couldn't forward that... I had to...UGH! I thought this was out of my hands.

I had a meltdown on the phone with Dan one afternoon. I try so hard to do things as quickly as possible, and the "right" way, but it never fails someone finds some silly reason to make it be redone. I was taking it personally that the reason why he was waiting longer was because of me, and I couldn't be quick enough. He needs surgery SO bad, and I just want to get there as soon as possible. It seems like the quicker I try to be, the longer it takes... I really dont like being so negative, Im just sharing my heart and the rotten  part of this process. Keep us in our prayers, its getting rough... and we aren't even to the tough stuff yet. Everything happens for a reason, and God has a plan!!


On a happier note, the orphan ministry at our Church is hosting a Ladies Night Jewelry party as a fundraiser for our adoption. Monday July 15th at 7pm. 50% of the sales go towards our adoption. Its a really cool way to help us get Nolan home, and have some pretty sweet new Jewelry. Come hang out, bring a friend, and have some sweet treats. I would love to see everyone!!


Goodnight!

Papers from Chicago!!! Yay

Today I was pleasantly surprised by the mail lady at my door. I think she asked me to sign something, all I knew was I knew where that envelope in her hand was from. :) I practically grabbed it out of her hand, and literally ripped it open in front of her. She got to share my excitement with me!!! Those Chinese are tricky though, at first it looked as though they did nothing to them. So I looked in the envelope- nothing just a receipt. The mail lady suggested maybe it was on the inside- sure enought the sticker I was waiting for!!! So relieved, and excited! They didn't stay in my hand to long though, we copied them, and off they went to the post office!! It feels nice to have them out of my hands, only 3 documents left to go through the same process, we are waiting for the i800 to arrive!!!! Yay!!!

We picked a name!!

Picking a name was NOT easy! Dan and I have had the hardest time with this one by far. It wasn't just about picking a name we liked, but finding a good meaning, making it fit with the other names, and some how keeping it Chinese. We decided to keep the first letter of his chinese name- N. 

His name is Nolan XiaoJohn Einfeld. Im trying to sneak one other middle name in there, but we will see if Dan agrees :) 

Nolan means "little champion, or fighter." 

Xiao is his chinese name meaning little. 

John is Hebrew (like our other children) meaning "God is gracious" He is named after all the "Johns" in our life.... Dans dad's middle name, our exchange student, John Epema, John Oneill, Im sure there is tons more but Im drawing blank right now. Please let us know. :)

Nolan is an answer to our prayers and it is by the grace of God that he is our little boy. He is truely a fighter, and our champion! 

No real updates... Chicago embassy hopefully has the paperwork done to their perfection, Im waiting anxiously to get that returned. The I-800, is complete and will hopefully be coming soon- thats the last piece we are waiting for. 

I got an update today from the agency, he seems to be doing well no change on his last Echo (which is great news), his oxygen levels remain consistent, and he is just waiting for surgery. We are putting together a package to send him, it has been really fun!! 

Today we got up early (4:30 am) to send John back to China for the summer. It was a family affair at the airport. He will be coming back to stay with us in August... August 17th... not that Im missing him or anything :) Hes been a lot of fun to have around, all of us really enjoyed him this year. I could sense his absence at dinner. The kids have been talking about him all day. I do have to admit I am a little bit jealous he is going to China, and Im not.... not yet anyways!! He says the flight is "painful." So maybe I shouldn't look forward to it so much. :) 

Thanks all for tonight, sorry about my lack of updates... nothing really exciting is going on, and we were enjoying the last weekend with John!!! 

Update...

This week nothing is exciting as our pre-approval last week... Lets see..

I got to spend Mothers day with my mom on Sunday. We spent the day looking for furniture for the kids rooms. Addy is growing out of her bed, and Asher is definitely growing out of his bed, PLUS we are trying to figure out how to organize the rooms with two kids in each.  :) About 5 furniture stores later...we accomplished finding stuff for the girls, and then Monday I took care of the boys. It was nice to spend time with my mom alone- we rarely get to do that.

Its been a crazy week, for some reason we have a ton of things on the calendar and months ago I picked up a ton of hours for this week! We are making it through, though. After I got home from work Monday we received in the mail our appointment notices to get fingerprinted. I was extremely worried that John would have been gone back home for the summer when the appointment came. Our agency encouraged us to apply last month, which I did. I was VERY happy to get the notices in the mail. Only problem was they had scheduled appointments for 2 weeks out, the day after John leaves! Our agency told us it was ok to just walk in and explain the story, they don't have to fit you in early, but they hadn't heard stories of anyone being turned away. So, Tuesday morning, John luckily didn't have any tests, so we made the trip to Kentwood to the USCIS- Department of Homeland Security. They did fit us in, but gave us the run around even though there was NOBODY else in there! It was a horrible experience, I have never been treated so inhuman in my life!! From the moment we walked in, it was ..."sit here, fill this out, back up, sit here, stand here, give me your left hand, leave the child there..." Then against the advice of the worker there, I sent Dan today without an appointment. They made him wait 2 hrs to get his fingerprints! It was horrible, Im glad its done. It was nice of them to fit us in, and hopefully it will speed things up by 2 weeks. :) Thats 2 weeks sooner to kiss those asian cheeks!!!

Tonight we were able to see the movie "Stuck" at church. It was so good, but horrible at the same time! The conditions kids live in are horrible, the politics and red tape involved keep the kids in institutions much longer than they need to be. Its so unfair!! They deserve to be in the arms of their forever family.

The movie made me feel blessed to be with an agency we trust, and to feel we are moving along in the process. One of the things that is stressing me out right now is that most of our dossier paperwork is at the embassy in Chicago being authenticated. However, there was a silly problem with one document that had to be corrected. Being corrected meant getting a new one, sending to the Secretary of State again (where it is now), and then sending back to the embassy- meanwhile they held all of our documents at the embassy. I check the mail anxiously everyday waiting for the S of S to send it back. Im nervous that the embassy will lose our papers or something in the mean time. It makes me even more nervous because the number at the embassy doesn't accept calls, its just a recording, so I had no way of getting ahold of them AND Dan took this message while I was at work one night... It makes me nervous. You can keep that in your prayers. :)

Last week I began the paperwork for a grant due today! Im so thankful for our homestudy social worker, CCAI, Scarlet Thomas, Emily Dewitte, and Pastor Rick, who all on a moment notice took time to email paperwork to the foundation for us. Im not sure how we pulled off getting all of that paperwork together in 3 days, but we did!!

Its been busy, but things are coming together, Thanks for keep us in your prayers!!!

Here he is!!!

Its so exciting to finally be able to share him with you!! CCAI told us it could take 2 weeks to get our pre-approval from China... it took 2 days!!! It still seems so hard to believe, thats our SON!! I just wanna kiss his sweet little cheeks. :) Now we get to pack a little package to send to him. Does anyone have any ideas? It has to fit in a shoe box....

Our journey isn't over yet, keep praying for us. Paperwork keeps coming at me. We are still working on getting all of our money. We are in the process of applying for a grant, pray we meet the deadline, and get a grant to bring our sweet little one home.

We still haven't nailed down a name yet, we are still thinking on it. Suggestions are welcome. Its a happy day. :)

Busy Week!!

So sorry I haven't updated in awhile. We had a busy week with the garage sale, I feel like I was going 90 miles an hr, all week. We are so thankful for all the help we had with the sale. I would name everyone, but the list would be toooo long!!! Everyone was so generous with there time and resources, and watching my children. Thank you Thank you!! The sale was a HUGE success, we raised over $2,000!!!

Other big news this week.... We accepted the referral!!! Now we are waiting for China to accept us!! :) This will be a big week for us!! We had so many God signs last week, and we just felt like God laid this kid in front of us for a reason. Yes, he has needs, but yes they are repairable- thats good enough for us. We talked with Aviela and asked her how she felt about Mommy and Daddy spending time at the hospital with the "baby," and we told her he was sick, she just said, "it will be ok Mom." And we agreed she was right. For some reason God really speaks to us through music. Its the moments I spend in the car that I do most of my thinking and praying. We felt God speaking to us through the words of Jeremy Camp's "Reckless,"... 

"Everytime I try to play it safe 

Holding back just a little part of me

I find myself forgetting what

I say that I believe

The promise of Your Word

Is all I need

I'll lay my life down

And give it up

I'll give it up"

I guess its true! Why should we say no to a sweet little soul that needs the medical attention, love, and family that we can provide.... Its really not about us. So we wait to see what China says...When they approve we will share his sweet little face with you. We can't wait to show him off. :)

We do need name suggestions though...its been a real struggle trying to come up with one we both agree on, it doesn't necessarily have to start with A. Please share ideas :)

Every time the seasons change I get overwhelmed, just naturally (without the adoption stress)- but this time I can't do much about the feeling. Going from winter to spring means new things to worry about like... cutting the grass, maintaining the lawn, blowing out the underground sprinkling, changing the kids clothes, etc. Its like the kids book "If you give a mouse a cookie..." If I go outside and think about the grass then I realize I need to change the kids clothes, when I go inside to change the kids clothes, I see that our walls have kid marks all over them and still haven't been painted since we moved in, If I think about the walls being painted I notice the cob webs that I can't reach to clean, then I realize so many other things need cleaning and organizing, and the carpet needing cleaned, but Thats when God gives me a reality check and reminds me that our sweet little boy is worth more than any aesthetic thing money could buy. So if you come over please don't notice- the grass, the landscaping/ weeds, the walls, the carpet, the cob webs, or the unorganization of my house. :) 

Yesterday we had a busy morning just catching up from the week... but in the afternoon we went to Tulip time in Holland. Anyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE Holland! It was wonderful watching the dancers, eating an elephant ear, pictures with Tulips, dinner at Russ', Captain Sundae's with Grandpa VandenHeuvel, and the park!! We enjoyed spending time together, plus just being in Holland made me happy!

Today we met a new family and had lunch together at a park. We were just meant to be friends! They are young, have 3 biological children, and just brought the 4th child home from China (Who has special needs as well). She is a wealth of resources about fundraising, adoption and China! Get this... we met at my garage sale!! She came, told me a story that gave me goosebumps, and said we should hang out... so we did!! More than just raising money, we raised support! I hope that we are friends for a long time! It was really a great weekend.

Thats all for tonight, my toddler decided to learn a new trick- getting out of her crib! So I guess I will have to add, buy a twin mattress to that overwhelming list of tasks... but this one might be important. :)

Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming....

XOXOXOX Jen