Update!

Ive been wanting to update, but I had to work all weekend. This is whats happened all weekend... On Friday I spoke with a cardiologist at Devos, he was not encouraging at all! He told me that the heart condition is very serious, but correctable. Niko (The name the orphanage gave to him) does have an ASD, and VSD, which the Dr. isn't as concerned about them as he is with the pulmonary atresia. Pulmonary atresia means that the vessel that normally connects the heart and lungs is completely closed, his body has compensated and made an alternative route, but it isn't sufficient and will eventually fail. This is the bigger issue. Niko will have to have multiple surgeries as he grows to increase the size of the artificial vessel. Niko's oxygen sats have never been higher than 93%, have been as low as 55%, and usually hover 75-80's. That is what concerns me the most. Without adequate oxygen he is at risk for brain damage and poor development. The cardiologist also mentioned that Niko's particular diagnosis has also been linked with some syndromes. The "syndrome" word scares me. I shared all this information with the agency and they were wonderful about following up with the orphanage. The orphanage believes he does not show any other symptoms of the syndrome-  after doing research of my own, I agree and am not concerned with the possibility of a syndrome. Im actually very encouraged with his development. He recognizes his name, babbles, and is walking with assistance.

Dan and I talked it over and we pretty much agreed that he needs to have the surgery ASAP, as much as I would like to have it done in the US, we feel that it is in Niko's best interest to get surgery as soon as its available. Even with expedited paperwork, it could be 6 months before he's home. Considering the surgery should have been done months ago, 6 more months is definitely to long. We talked with the agency today, and asked how close he was to having surgery in China. We should have that answered tomorrow. After we figure out how far he is away from surgery we will be able to make a better decision. We know this is only the first surgery of many that he will have to have, we are ok with that.

We also figured out that Niko is in one of Steven Curtis Chapman's orphanages!! That makes me feel like hes getting really good care. :)

A friend of mine put this quote on her FB page yesterday "God is not going to give you a dream in which you don't need His help to accomplish the dream." (I think she got it from Church) It really made me think about this situation. After initially talking with the cardiologist I was very discouraged, It took me awhile to sort out everything he said. I am thankful for his honest advise of the whole picture, but I realize too that its his job to tell me "worst case scenario." The Cardiologist told me that it was his job to make this a tough decision, he said he didn't want to sound to optimistic, or to negative. He wanted to just tell me everything, and let us sort out what we think we can handle. Part of me felt like it would be so easy to let go, and get something much "easier." But then I was reminded that when we signed up for a waiting child, we signed up for the "gray," not "black or white." This decision isn't supposed to be easy, or something we can do on our own. We really do need God's guidance. He's given me the dream, and He's showing me we can't do it alone! And Im glad we don't have too :)

We still haven't made a final decision, we will wait to see what the agency tells us tomorrow. Its been consuming my thoughts, and Ive been praying about it almost constantly. We definitely don't feel pressured by the agency to accept, and we are not afraid of having to wait a long time for another referral (actually that would be a good thing, it would give us more time to raise the money). Its not an emotional decision either. As much as I love looking at his sweet face, I truly want what is best for him. If we feel his needs are to much for a family of 3 kids already we are not afraid to say no. Keep praying for us. If God dealt us this child biologically we would have no problem excepting and dealing with it, it seems a little backwards to have the option to decide "what we can handle." We pray that God gives us some clarity. :)

Don't forget about the garage sale this week- Wed- Friday... My garage is busting at the seams!! It will be a good one. :)